Effect of watching the news about Afghanistan?

I woke up from a dream. A dream that made my heart race when I gained consciousness.

It was about me being in a corrupted school system. The school had a “terrorist” man in its administration. I somehow instinctively linked him to the Taliban.

One day, I go against the “terrorist” school official (I do not know exactly his position).

I seemed to tell what I witnessed because the next scene was I am accompanied by two girls who appeared to be my courageous friends. We were taking pictures of the messy scene left. I couldn’t really describe what a horrible situation it was.

The enemy found out what we were doing with my friends and there was a hunt for us going on. My hiding now is in the middle of the group of “slave” men – they are “army” of the “terrorist” man who are doing the hunting while the man himself are just waiting for us to come with our hands tied behind our back and to be executed.

Despite how it could only take one turn of a head to see me, I got away from the hunters. I am now pleading a house to let me in. It was situated in an isolated place, in a mountain. A woman hurriedly and cautiously assisted me inside. There is also a man, who seemed to be saddened that this happen, again? I told the story and suggested they helped me to exposed the “terrorist” to the school committee but they disagreed.

Then it hit me real hard when they told me that the people who1 I trusted, those other teachers I respected, were as corrupted as he is. They knew all along what is going on and they let it to happen and not because they are threatened but out of their willingness to cooperate themselves. And I saw them in my head one by one, turned into a smirking evil persons from their holier selves that I used to believe they were.

The man and woman who helped me were like the usual people who helped the victims who went against those “terrorists”. It seemed also that they have already planned on how to take down the current government(?) since a very long time ago. I do not know why it went from a mere corrupted school to a worse scenario.

I roamed the porch. It was so quiet. I was alone in the house. Not long after, the woman arrived pantingly and gave me a letter. She smiled, as if the letter contained a very good news. Then I woke up . . .

I wonder what the letter said.

Start somewhere


Digging through the not-so-organized files from mental library as to how she could afford them.

And she found so many ideas. Ideas that are not so polished yet she believed they could bring her to her dreams somehow. But they are so many and equally good she could hardly toss some of them for awhile and focus on just one idea and execute the actions to realize it. And she got nothing done because she is still waiting for the “best” idea to come. Again.

Have you ever experience this scenario of analysis paralysis? Always waiting for the best one that you end up not getting anything done, and wasting your time and mental energy to just think and not do any action out of the thinking? It’s so frustrating, especially if you already aware of the habit but have not gotten rid of it.

Just like a customer who postpone or do not buy a product at all because of the many choices on the shelf, we pull out of any plan and let the alternative be the do nothing. And just like a business that do not gain any profit from that potential buyer, we gain no progress or learning. Just another thinking of the same thing in the future.

This phenomenon can be caused by several factors. One of them is perfectionism. That tendency to attain “perfect” everything and is reciprocal to symptom of depression. The standard that resulted from the current or simply known best of being, doing, or having someone or something, I suppose. As most of the matter, this tendency has its pros and cons. Especially when applied to not urgent, and important thing but just everything. It drains you to just have a perfect party in which only gain a seconds admiration from people but takes you to sacrifice your sleep, peace of mind, money, etc. in just planning it.

It is not that carefully weighing the alternatives is a bad thing. It is just that we have to be selective and not to apply it on a trivial concerns.

It’s a good feeling to attain something that generally viewed as the highest quality creation. But it’s a very aggressive investment that requires big sacrifices and a big downfall if ever. And oftentimes, perfectionism makes us not appreciate what we have or capable such as the case of these students

Now, she finally made a decision to be contented with not the best, but what still can deliver what she is looking for and execute it. She is starting somewhere and have done many things, gain many experiences and learns along the way. She wants to be the cat in Aesop’s fable. Do you want to be the cat too?

Despacito . . .

I am among of the people who are always in a rush. But not until some amount of times passed by😂.

I think it is better to do things slowly and attentively.😊 In that way, you will get more from doing them. Combing hair for 1 minute is sometimes better than combing them for 10 seconds only. Because you will notice more things about yourself if you happen to be in front of the mirror or even if you are not, you can think of something nice from just feeling your hand moved the comb down your hair. How it grew so long now and maybe have to be trimmed✂. And you can think of that like in our lives, there are certain undesirable things that need to be cut to make this life more beautiful.😍

Walking to school📚 or to work📠 slowly will let us savor the fresh air along the way or being conscious about the pollution of air we’ve caused. And a twenty-four hour a day will be so meaningful if we pay attention to it.

Thinking back to the days I used to spent carelessly, I always feel that I did nothing worthwhile, which is I believe is not true. I was always thinking of doing the next thing and forgetting easily what have I done previously. And my day oftentimes ends unappreciated.

But now that I attentively go through life, I feel so good. And maybe you should too.😉

Not easy anymore . . .

Been studying for about an hour. Taking notes, solving problems, memorizing some formulas for my ProbStat subject and trying to understand but….it’s so hard. In fact, I’m not sure if I really understood a single thing from what I’ve spent my time on.

I’m getting worried cause I’ve been doing so poorly in my comprehension of even simple things. I’m kinda frustrated thinking that many people around me saying I’m a smart girl when I was in my elementary through high school days, and that I don’t face this kind of dilemma but now…(ugh!)

So many adult things occupied my thinking that kinda distorted it and I don’t know how to recover them. I don’t know what action should I take from the many steps available (I think). . . .



I’m writing this blog to bring out what I want to whose readily be judged😄, and to the other person on the other side, for I believe there will be at least one person who will found this piece😊. But before anything else, I want to share with you what I currently want you to realize. It’s about my opinion on “opinion”. Why? Because I want you to believe and think of yourself without guilt.

So many “truths” presented to us on our way every day. 😯but not these are the realest truth, for they are always contradicting in some ways. Which one is it? A, B, C, or D? Supposed the answer is B, but you chose C, she chooses A, for him it’s D and there are the guided ones who chose B as their outline and succeed in the end. There must be a belief on every concrete and abstract perceived thing, that not every single individual shares the same. For an instance, a ball⚽. Some may view it as a source of enjoyment after a long, boring day at school and a way to demonstrate the skills they wat to acquire🎾🏀🏃. To some, it is just a round, rubberized, elastic tool to torture and humiliate them and drag their other effort in achieving a passing grade⚾😡. To some, it is a funny thing that they could not figure out how it became one or it didn’t come a time to think why it was but just feel the sensation it gives them😅. And a lot other more perception on this tiny object called ball. Some contained only hundred thousand of bytes some will reach a million trillion of terabytes. Now, I don’t know how much or what information consists such a large number of perception, if it even exists. But, I’m sure know only little and some truth is the truth and some is just a fallacy made up, so my claim will be true or it’s just my imagination my mind could make up.

The thing is, we thought our perceptions that lead to our beliefs are the truths, that A, C and D are B. But they are not. This error did not stop there, it spread to all other branches that connected with this perception and belief. And it is a huge matrix there. For our perception is the engine of our action, that’s another claim from my perception, again it may be true or it may just seem true. And our action affects other people and other elements in the environment and not just the system itself, our body.

That is why, I think it is very important to examine what we believe😉